There it is.. I finally blogged!

After about 3 months...

I started college, i finished half of mid term tests, i have friends, i have my uniform! Just got it today.. =)

The picture looks like a kind of drama series on tv.. Mercy? :P

Tons of things have happened since it all began on 22nd July 2010.

In a week, we're going into the real world. Clinical posting begins 18th oct.

Nervous but excited for it!

Thank you Father for my lovely classmates and my group!

Thank you Father for all the food!

I must admit that I'm getting fat! Gotta stop filling my stomach till the top..

Haven't been dancing since it started.. Wish I didn't have to stop! =(

When will I start dancing all over again? I really need to exercise..

Somebody help me!

Alright, off to bed now...~ Nights (:

God is Love

2 more weeks till I start college. This will be the next big step of my life.
Life is going to change. No more comfort zone, time to grow up!
I know that God is still with me and will always be.
I don't have to worry, I don't have to be afraid.
I'm excited to move on in this journey of faith in God.

My piano exam is next wednesday. Yes, I am nervous and I can honestly say that I suck!
By the condition I am in now, I might fail.
It's the truth. But I will still try my very best.
I may not be talented in even the things I love to do, I might not be the best,
Though I might fail, but I will not give up just like that.
This is what God has given me and I choose to enjoy it even if I'm not good at it.

It's okay if i fail. All I need to do is get right back up, holding onto His hands.
Trusting that He will catch me when I fall..
There's nothing to be ashamed of.
I'd rather be a nobody who has the King as her father and friend, than being a somebody who is rich and famous but has nothing in life to hold on to.

I can't believe that half a year has passed and I'm still the same???

The only that changed is that i started working... Not much difference still

Why do i always wonder why others has been through so much in half a year when I had nothing.

Maybe I'm looking at the wrong side..

I know something has changed, but not in the worldly point of view..

JULI, REMEMBER WHAT GOD KEEPS TELLING YOU!!

I have plans to prosper and not to harm you.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Do not worry, I am with you.

I will restore and heal you.

I have not given you the spirit of fear.

I will finish the good work I have started in you.

These are the words that keep popping out of various places..

These are some of the many promises that He will never break

I know I shouldn't worry about anything because He will carry me through.

But i admit it is hard. I'm still trying very hard to place my full trust in Him.

Thank you God for the promises.

Thank you for loving me.

Thank you for your grace!

A trip to the land down under

IM BACK!!

My trip to Perth was awesome!
I admit it was quite boring, especially at night. There's no night life there except for bars.
But the weather and the public transport there is very nice.
ANyway, I had a great time with my family there

Not gonna waste my time posting photos here, there's too much. Maybe just one =)
It's all in Facebook..

Now it's back to reality...Sucky public transport, people with sour faces everywhere, traffic jams, air pollution, and HEAT!
No more fresh cool air and the sky getting dark at 5pm!
But I will always love Malaysia. =)

Here's ONE photo i said i would post.. =D

Good day, mate!

Going ahead with Him!

I have decided not to listen to all those negative stuff people say.
This is what I want and what God has lead me to.
You have no right to tell me not to do something i really want.
I know they are concerned for me but they shouldn't discourage me.
I think I'm ready to face this challenge with God supporting and strengthening me all the way.


Alright, all I can think of now is being in Australia in 32 hours time! hehehee..
I have been looking forward for a real holiday for so long. And it's finally here!!!
And i finally got my new shoes!! Though it's not high top(or hight cut? whatever), but i still love it! =)
Gonna get a really nice high top shoes when i have the money and when i can find a nice one that has size.
Everywhere i go, there's no size. sigh
The right one will come!
This probably has a double meaning... XD


Oh, and I'm gonna be sure to take loads of photos during the trip.
Don't really have a habit of taking pictures.
But now with the 4gb memory card fixed, I can take more photos!

Cant wait ! =D


But now, it's time to say GOODNIGHT!

Follow your heart,
Reach out for you dreams...

Those words, people often say too much.
But how do you reach for your dreams when everything around seems to go in the other direction?
I've never wanted anything so bad and the only time when I wanted something so bad,
it's taken away by something that's not even supposed to be there..
I had so much hope in doing Nursing and it's taken away just like that.

How can this be?
This is what God wanted me to do, and obeyed and followed.
Could it be that I heard wrongly? Could it be that it wasn't God who wanted me to do it?
There were so many signs.. I asked for confirmation and He answered.
Now it suddenly disappears?

I don't want to be back to square one.
I was so sure that this was what I wanted, that this was God's plan for me..
I believe this is Satan's work trying to destroy God's perfect plan for me.
You will NOT succeed.. I will NOT give up on this.

I'm still waiting for the day to come when they find nothing wrong in me.
Not even a single sign or effect of it.
I am still depending on You, God.
You're my only hope, my only refuge and strength.
I NEED YOU, GOD. I WILL NEVER LET YOU GO.

Mixture of feelings..

It's a new year and a SMACK ON THE FACE of reality.
All these while we are living in our own little bubble in school and when we finish school, we're just left in this whole other dimension of the world wandering and wondering in the cold.
*At least it's what I feel..

3 months passed and I can't believe I'm still sitting home..
People have jobs, even changed jobs, start college, been through new experiences and learned new things. As for me? I feel like I've made a very wrong decision to take Grade 8 piano exam.
But I want to finish my piano when i have the chance to. So far it has pulled me back from many things.
Well, at least I've returned to Urban Groove. I feels really good to do the thing that I love so much.
And i really want to have the best of it before i start college. I want to have as much as I can get but something else is pulling me back. I really wish 'it' isn't real, but 'it' is. I'm waiting for the moment for 'it' to just disappear without any trace. I might not have time to dance anymore when i start college..
Maybe college starting in July isn't a bad idea after all considering that I can dance longer.
But it really sucks to stay home and not do anything. I looked for jobs but none of it seem to be the right one. Maybe I have too many requirements.

If I work full time, I can't practice my piano, and i have to change time for piano class again.
And the whole reason for starting college in July is because of exam.
Piano teacher suggests that I work part time in a kindergarten.. Then I'll have time to practice.
The problem? I'm busy most weekends and have no one to accompany me to ask. Yes, I'm a very timid person and I know if I really want it I should just go and ask for myself. That's me.

Don't expect anyone to read my blog anyway. I just want to express.

SPM RESULTS?
I'm happy with it, still a little dissatisfaction but I'm not gonna whine over it, as long as I did my best and got the expected results for most of the subjects. As long as it's enough to enter college.
Signed up at Sunway U for Diploma in Nursing today. The interview went on better than i thought. I have never been so confident answering those kind of questions before. I know the Holy Spirit helped me. It's what God has called me to do and I know He will help me through it all. Thank you God for giving me this confidence in myself for the very first time.
LOVE YOU SO MUCH, LORD. =)

In this life there is always give and take. You sacrifice something to gain something else. Put something down and pick something else up. No such thing as gaining and never giving.

Nobody is perfect. But NOT everybody has bad intensions. You don't know how they really feel, you don't know what they are really going through, you don't really know what God is doing in them.
Whatever God is doing, it's good. He has plans to prosper you and not to harm you.
He loves you for who you really are. And the love He gives is not any kind of love humans can give.
Whether you believe it or not, whether you realize it or not, God is always there. Just like radio waves, you can't see it, you can't touch it, you can't hear it but it's there.
No matter what you mother teaches you, no matter what you think, the colour RED is RED and it will always be RED. That's the truth. The truth is the truth.
You know you have a brain eventhough you can't see it, hear it or touch it.
These words are not all mine, but THINK ABOUT IT.

I'm going through emotions right now and I don't know why.
Feeling a little empty. I need it to be real again. I need to feel again. I need that touch of the Holy Spirit, the joy of being in His presence once again. I really miss that.
I can't bear seeing people drifting away from God. Further and further away, what is happening?
I'm feeling just a little bit of what God feels, seeing His people turning away, going back to their old self. I can't imagine how sad He is, how much His heart hurts.
I'm sorry, Lord for forgetting you sometimes. I love you, Lord.

My blog is half dead right now.. Very lazy to blog nowadays eventhough I have all the time in the world! I was actually thinking,

WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I WANT PEOPLE TO SEE WHAT'S GOING ON IN MY LIFE??
WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?

Hmmmmmmmm?
XD

So okay... IT'S A NEW YEARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND a new decade.. And I can't believe I'm out of school. It's time to face half of the real world.
Many new things to come. BUT..........

i HAVE TO first make decisions!!!
Currently, there are loads of questions in my head.

Maybe I'm worrying too much.
Thinking too much.

I know God is the only ONE who can help me..
I need to listen.
I need to decide.
I need to grow.
I need to get out!


I don't know what to blog about anymore.

GOODBYE!