Follow your heart,
Reach out for you dreams...

Those words, people often say too much.
But how do you reach for your dreams when everything around seems to go in the other direction?
I've never wanted anything so bad and the only time when I wanted something so bad,
it's taken away by something that's not even supposed to be there..
I had so much hope in doing Nursing and it's taken away just like that.

How can this be?
This is what God wanted me to do, and obeyed and followed.
Could it be that I heard wrongly? Could it be that it wasn't God who wanted me to do it?
There were so many signs.. I asked for confirmation and He answered.
Now it suddenly disappears?

I don't want to be back to square one.
I was so sure that this was what I wanted, that this was God's plan for me..
I believe this is Satan's work trying to destroy God's perfect plan for me.
You will NOT succeed.. I will NOT give up on this.

I'm still waiting for the day to come when they find nothing wrong in me.
Not even a single sign or effect of it.
I am still depending on You, God.
You're my only hope, my only refuge and strength.
I NEED YOU, GOD. I WILL NEVER LET YOU GO.

Mixture of feelings..

It's a new year and a SMACK ON THE FACE of reality.
All these while we are living in our own little bubble in school and when we finish school, we're just left in this whole other dimension of the world wandering and wondering in the cold.
*At least it's what I feel..

3 months passed and I can't believe I'm still sitting home..
People have jobs, even changed jobs, start college, been through new experiences and learned new things. As for me? I feel like I've made a very wrong decision to take Grade 8 piano exam.
But I want to finish my piano when i have the chance to. So far it has pulled me back from many things.
Well, at least I've returned to Urban Groove. I feels really good to do the thing that I love so much.
And i really want to have the best of it before i start college. I want to have as much as I can get but something else is pulling me back. I really wish 'it' isn't real, but 'it' is. I'm waiting for the moment for 'it' to just disappear without any trace. I might not have time to dance anymore when i start college..
Maybe college starting in July isn't a bad idea after all considering that I can dance longer.
But it really sucks to stay home and not do anything. I looked for jobs but none of it seem to be the right one. Maybe I have too many requirements.

If I work full time, I can't practice my piano, and i have to change time for piano class again.
And the whole reason for starting college in July is because of exam.
Piano teacher suggests that I work part time in a kindergarten.. Then I'll have time to practice.
The problem? I'm busy most weekends and have no one to accompany me to ask. Yes, I'm a very timid person and I know if I really want it I should just go and ask for myself. That's me.

Don't expect anyone to read my blog anyway. I just want to express.

SPM RESULTS?
I'm happy with it, still a little dissatisfaction but I'm not gonna whine over it, as long as I did my best and got the expected results for most of the subjects. As long as it's enough to enter college.
Signed up at Sunway U for Diploma in Nursing today. The interview went on better than i thought. I have never been so confident answering those kind of questions before. I know the Holy Spirit helped me. It's what God has called me to do and I know He will help me through it all. Thank you God for giving me this confidence in myself for the very first time.
LOVE YOU SO MUCH, LORD. =)

In this life there is always give and take. You sacrifice something to gain something else. Put something down and pick something else up. No such thing as gaining and never giving.

Nobody is perfect. But NOT everybody has bad intensions. You don't know how they really feel, you don't know what they are really going through, you don't really know what God is doing in them.
Whatever God is doing, it's good. He has plans to prosper you and not to harm you.
He loves you for who you really are. And the love He gives is not any kind of love humans can give.
Whether you believe it or not, whether you realize it or not, God is always there. Just like radio waves, you can't see it, you can't touch it, you can't hear it but it's there.
No matter what you mother teaches you, no matter what you think, the colour RED is RED and it will always be RED. That's the truth. The truth is the truth.
You know you have a brain eventhough you can't see it, hear it or touch it.
These words are not all mine, but THINK ABOUT IT.

I'm going through emotions right now and I don't know why.
Feeling a little empty. I need it to be real again. I need to feel again. I need that touch of the Holy Spirit, the joy of being in His presence once again. I really miss that.
I can't bear seeing people drifting away from God. Further and further away, what is happening?
I'm feeling just a little bit of what God feels, seeing His people turning away, going back to their old self. I can't imagine how sad He is, how much His heart hurts.
I'm sorry, Lord for forgetting you sometimes. I love you, Lord.

My blog is half dead right now.. Very lazy to blog nowadays eventhough I have all the time in the world! I was actually thinking,

WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I WANT PEOPLE TO SEE WHAT'S GOING ON IN MY LIFE??
WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?

Hmmmmmmmm?
XD

So okay... IT'S A NEW YEARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND a new decade.. And I can't believe I'm out of school. It's time to face half of the real world.
Many new things to come. BUT..........

i HAVE TO first make decisions!!!
Currently, there are loads of questions in my head.

Maybe I'm worrying too much.
Thinking too much.

I know God is the only ONE who can help me..
I need to listen.
I need to decide.
I need to grow.
I need to get out!


I don't know what to blog about anymore.

GOODBYE!

SPM IS TOMORROW!!

And i'm blogging at a time like this..
I am getting ready for BM and Sej, decided to take a short break..
It's been another long long time since i blogged.. So many things hav happened in the past few months since i last blogged...

Yesterday was the last day of school.. Had so much fun taking pictures. It's also kinda sad, I'm gonna miss SMK TAMAN BUKIT MALURI , gonna miss the people, being a high school student.
I'm happy that I got to perform for the very last time in school on the last week of school.. Gonna miss Pn. Joginder too, gonna miss recess with my bunch of crazy friends, and meeting each other everyday. =(

It's gonna be a new life next year! Can't wait to see what's in store for me in the future. But a little worried too, i don't know what to do after this. It seems so easy for others to choose what they want study. I'm gonna have to sit down and really be still before God, and LISTEN to His still, small voice that is supposedly very loud. Unfortunately, many fail to hear Him.. I want to hear Him!

GONNA MISS SEEING YOU GUYS EVERYDAY!
*where's Joee when u need her??*

All the best to all the SPM students! =)

TRIALS ARE OVER!
Now is holiday time! Got my driving license finally....

And there is nothing else i can think of to blog about..

Okay, here's some stuff we did in church camp at Kampar Grand Hotel



Pei Wei came in our car..




















The beautiful mountains















The cap I bought when i first reached Kampar town..
XD















camwhoring anywhere and everywhere

















Our room..















STOP using the phone or I'll shoot!















Part of the bunch of crazy youths there













Swimming session!















Having fun with the toilet mirror












thru the hole in the door

























MERDEKA!!



I shall blog about SHOES now!!
I found this brand of shoes that are amazingly cool! There's 2 brands that caught my eye!
Pastry and Southpole.. I really wish they are sold in Malaysia!
I'm going crazy over them! I know I shouldn't be.. But they're just too nice..
Almost wanted to buy it on9 but the shipping fee costs more than the shoe itself!



Pastry s















































Southpole












Anyone going to US for holidays anytime soon?!

This could be a hint for my Christmas or my next birthday present??
TAKE NOTE! XD

GOD BLESS!

The so called holidays!

It's the holidays!! But it's not really a holiday because of trials coming up next week!
When everyone else is celebrating MERDEKA, the form 5s are busy studying for trials..
How wonderful!
Really gotta study this whole week before going off to Kampar for Church Camp!

But here's what's been going on lately...

I got my L license and took a few lessons already.. The test is on 14th September!
Yes, it's in the middle of trials...

On the 11th aug, it was someone's birthday!

RACHEL ROSE CHONG!!!
woooooohh!

We celebrated with her on 14th. Went for dinner and did some "normal" stuff we always do..
haha and our "normal" is actually crazy, which is normal for us.. =p





Bunch of crazy peeps..

The Eye minus 1 again.... =(














Sesat-ers in DesaPark City

















tHE TRAFFIC LIGHT!










And the next day was Mei Zhi's 21st birthday party!






People who came early to play with balloons














de Myfers...






On her real birthday, we gave her a surprise at 6.30am in her room. We went in a started playing cards....... ^^
















Few days later, there was cheer family reunion at Desapark City.. It was the 3rd time in the same week I've been there.. XD



















That's all for now until churh camp..

This means, IT'S TIME TO STUDY!

The Lord is my strength and my song;
He has become my salvation.
Guve thanks to the Lord, for He is good;
His love endures forever!