At last I see the light..

Now i realized why God had let me get hurt 2 years ago.. :)

I still remember it so clearly the day i injured my calf muscle of my right leg.

I was so scared and sad that i couldn't dance for almost a month, every step would hurt..

Just because of the sports practice at school which we were forced to go.

At that time I just restarted my dance classes at urban groove.

And i couldn't go for classes for a month. I had missed so much.

I could have gotten closer with the other students and instructors like some of my friends.

I could have been able to perform for that first time with them.

But i couldn't and i didn't.

Yes, i was sad about that and i feel like i had missed out on so so much....

I literally cried out to God. Why did this happen to me? why do i always injure myself at the wrong times..

But i also remember God's healing miracle on my leg..

He healed me a month after or was it less?

Well anyway, I was happy after that eventhough some things happened.

Yesterday at myf, Marc was sharing with us on the wonderful Holy Spirit.

He talked about some people such as Jaeson Ma and 2 others

Jaeson Ma's story was about him wanting to get into the MTV world and being a rapper.

Before he produced his song Love, his mentor who happens to be MC hammer a superstar at that time. Actually, i just heard one of mc hammer's songs on glee project the day before. (coincidence, no?)

MC hammer happens to be a pastor.. (was shocked!)

So he told Jaeson "NO". instead, he asked Jaeson to get into bible school to study the Word before getting into showbiz cause you know, in that world people go astray and turn away from God, at least most of the people.

SO he went and after he finished he released that song about Jesus' love and the people from MTV said if only he takes out the those 2 words, "Jesus Christ" he would make it in the charts.

And i believe that too. That song was really really good.

The point is that if he hadn't gone for bible school he would have got caught in the singing world.

Now he is a spirit-filled powerful speaker and God's servant.

Another instance was this afternoon at discipleship class we were discussing about how God's word helps you make right decisions in life.

So it is double confirmed that God is speaking to me about this. Even after so long...

And it just struck me like a lighted light bulb.

If i didn't injured my leg, i would have been in that performance and I would get to know them better and get much better and perform in many other performances.

But where would that get me?

I would have been missing church services, MYF meetings, discipleship maybe, i may not be the president of MYF now, many things would have been different.

I don't mean to judge or criticize anyone if you, "terasa" or something.. ><

This is just what God is speaking and applicable to me.

Or it might benefit you in a good way :)

I just want to thank God for speaking to me even i might or might not have gotten over what happened so long ago..

Maybe i still feel a little inferior sometimes when i see my friends joining competitions and performances.. I do still wish it was me at times

I still thank God that I was able to join dance classes again after SPM and a really great time performing during CNY last year and the good time I had at the sleepover with the girls.. =)

Which reminds me of the lovely song I see the light from Tangled..

Today is the first day posting at HTAR Klang.. Well, yesterday was orientations so it doesn't count.

First thoughts when i saw the ward..

~ A place where you treat wounded soldiers in a war

~ An aftermath of a disaster??

~ I stepped into Iraq??

The things there and the settings are so last century times..

Like Florence Nightingale's time??

It was nothing like what i ever expected or imagined

The staff?

They just couldn't care less..

First instant, MO checked a patient's BP and it turns out 198/100 or something like that.. She askes for Amlodopine stat and we went to ask the medication nurse for it and she says she'll give later..

Half and hour or 1 hour later, still no sign of her.

MO asks again and still no sign.. I rechecked the BP and got 180/100..

Finally i don't even know if she served the amlodipine.. sigh

Second~

A patient's branula was removed by my friend and he bleeds profusely!

Covers it with a thick layer of gauze and guess what!?

I went to see what my friend was doing with the patient, and it feels like I'm in Grey's ANatomy..

Seeing a pool of blood on the bed and my friend holding the patient's hand with a bloody glove,

was stunned for a moment and thought it came out of his pampers but no, it was from his arm!!!

A small hole from removing the branula caused SO much BLOOD!??

The worse thing was when the staff nurse came, she just stunned at the sight just as I was and...

Goes to the other side and checked the platelet transfusion into the other hand.. And then went away to get heparin saline to flush that PVL and then just walked away and left us all staring at her..

She could have at least helped to bring some more gauze or tell us to apply pressure on it..

She just didn't do anything to help!

I really had compassion on the patients there.. They are really being illtreated there like they're some animals.. They looked so helpless and it didn't look like anyone could get any better there..

I felt like I'm going on a missionary trip.. This would be a really good experience for me before (*IF) God would call me to the missions field..

Well, whatever happens this week I will take it as a good training and preparation for whatever.

=)

In the darkness, there is YOUR light, Lord.

Your light shines when all else fades <3

Birthday Bash

I know it's kinda late, but i wanna dedicate this post specially for my college mates!

I'm am truly blessed to have such lovely, crazy as m

e classmates in college..

Once i got to know them closer, they are grea

t people to be with!

I wanna thank you all for celebrating my birthday with

me =)

Not forgetting it was for Winnie's birthday as well..

Thanks for the present! =)

I had a really good time being with them that night..

We went to Ole Ole Bali at Pyramid..

The food was quite pricey but large portions!

Sorry for making you guys spend so much there..

I think we all had a great time, agree??

Once again, THANK YOU~!

What is life without God and dance?

Once again... I'm feeling miserable without dance in my life.

I miss dancing so much.. After having a great experience doing a real musical at church for Christmas, i feel empty. =(

I'm filled with God's love but i still miss dance a lot.

When will I get to dance again?

I wish we could just drop everything we are doing- college, work, school, whatever and just DANCE

Won't that be great?!

But I know God has great plans for us to do something for Him.

And at the end the reward will be far greater than an

ything in the world.

"Seek first the Kingdom of heaven and all these things will be added to you."

God knows my heart. He knows my every desire and my needs, but I must first obey and continue walking in Him. I don't have to worry about the future for He holds it in His hands.

Oh well, back to dancing when no one's around and wait for the time to come =)

Best performance I ever had =D

Fresh New Do for CNY

New Look for the new year!

Can't believe we just went to the saloon and did our hair without even planning.. hahahah

I really like my new do! I just love the curl in at the front.. :)

This is by far the best haircut yet! Totally worth the money..

I didn't expect the hair styler to do that at all. haha

I'M GONNA SLEEP SMILING TONIGHT! =D

There it is.. I finally blogged!

After about 3 months...

I started college, i finished half of mid term tests, i have friends, i have my uniform! Just got it today.. =)

The picture looks like a kind of drama series on tv.. Mercy? :P

Tons of things have happened since it all began on 22nd July 2010.

In a week, we're going into the real world. Clinical posting begins 18th oct.

Nervous but excited for it!

Thank you Father for my lovely classmates and my group!

Thank you Father for all the food!

I must admit that I'm getting fat! Gotta stop filling my stomach till the top..

Haven't been dancing since it started.. Wish I didn't have to stop! =(

When will I start dancing all over again? I really need to exercise..

Somebody help me!

Alright, off to bed now...~ Nights (:

God is Love

2 more weeks till I start college. This will be the next big step of my life.
Life is going to change. No more comfort zone, time to grow up!
I know that God is still with me and will always be.
I don't have to worry, I don't have to be afraid.
I'm excited to move on in this journey of faith in God.

My piano exam is next wednesday. Yes, I am nervous and I can honestly say that I suck!
By the condition I am in now, I might fail.
It's the truth. But I will still try my very best.
I may not be talented in even the things I love to do, I might not be the best,
Though I might fail, but I will not give up just like that.
This is what God has given me and I choose to enjoy it even if I'm not good at it.

It's okay if i fail. All I need to do is get right back up, holding onto His hands.
Trusting that He will catch me when I fall..
There's nothing to be ashamed of.
I'd rather be a nobody who has the King as her father and friend, than being a somebody who is rich and famous but has nothing in life to hold on to.

I can't believe that half a year has passed and I'm still the same???

The only that changed is that i started working... Not much difference still

Why do i always wonder why others has been through so much in half a year when I had nothing.

Maybe I'm looking at the wrong side..

I know something has changed, but not in the worldly point of view..

JULI, REMEMBER WHAT GOD KEEPS TELLING YOU!!

I have plans to prosper and not to harm you.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Do not worry, I am with you.

I will restore and heal you.

I have not given you the spirit of fear.

I will finish the good work I have started in you.

These are the words that keep popping out of various places..

These are some of the many promises that He will never break

I know I shouldn't worry about anything because He will carry me through.

But i admit it is hard. I'm still trying very hard to place my full trust in Him.

Thank you God for the promises.

Thank you for loving me.

Thank you for your grace!

A trip to the land down under

IM BACK!!

My trip to Perth was awesome!
I admit it was quite boring, especially at night. There's no night life there except for bars.
But the weather and the public transport there is very nice.
ANyway, I had a great time with my family there

Not gonna waste my time posting photos here, there's too much. Maybe just one =)
It's all in Facebook..

Now it's back to reality...Sucky public transport, people with sour faces everywhere, traffic jams, air pollution, and HEAT!
No more fresh cool air and the sky getting dark at 5pm!
But I will always love Malaysia. =)

Here's ONE photo i said i would post.. =D

Good day, mate!

Going ahead with Him!

I have decided not to listen to all those negative stuff people say.
This is what I want and what God has lead me to.
You have no right to tell me not to do something i really want.
I know they are concerned for me but they shouldn't discourage me.
I think I'm ready to face this challenge with God supporting and strengthening me all the way.


Alright, all I can think of now is being in Australia in 32 hours time! hehehee..
I have been looking forward for a real holiday for so long. And it's finally here!!!
And i finally got my new shoes!! Though it's not high top(or hight cut? whatever), but i still love it! =)
Gonna get a really nice high top shoes when i have the money and when i can find a nice one that has size.
Everywhere i go, there's no size. sigh
The right one will come!
This probably has a double meaning... XD


Oh, and I'm gonna be sure to take loads of photos during the trip.
Don't really have a habit of taking pictures.
But now with the 4gb memory card fixed, I can take more photos!

Cant wait ! =D


But now, it's time to say GOODNIGHT!

Follow your heart,
Reach out for you dreams...

Those words, people often say too much.
But how do you reach for your dreams when everything around seems to go in the other direction?
I've never wanted anything so bad and the only time when I wanted something so bad,
it's taken away by something that's not even supposed to be there..
I had so much hope in doing Nursing and it's taken away just like that.

How can this be?
This is what God wanted me to do, and obeyed and followed.
Could it be that I heard wrongly? Could it be that it wasn't God who wanted me to do it?
There were so many signs.. I asked for confirmation and He answered.
Now it suddenly disappears?

I don't want to be back to square one.
I was so sure that this was what I wanted, that this was God's plan for me..
I believe this is Satan's work trying to destroy God's perfect plan for me.
You will NOT succeed.. I will NOT give up on this.

I'm still waiting for the day to come when they find nothing wrong in me.
Not even a single sign or effect of it.
I am still depending on You, God.
You're my only hope, my only refuge and strength.
I NEED YOU, GOD. I WILL NEVER LET YOU GO.

Mixture of feelings..

It's a new year and a SMACK ON THE FACE of reality.
All these while we are living in our own little bubble in school and when we finish school, we're just left in this whole other dimension of the world wandering and wondering in the cold.
*At least it's what I feel..

3 months passed and I can't believe I'm still sitting home..
People have jobs, even changed jobs, start college, been through new experiences and learned new things. As for me? I feel like I've made a very wrong decision to take Grade 8 piano exam.
But I want to finish my piano when i have the chance to. So far it has pulled me back from many things.
Well, at least I've returned to Urban Groove. I feels really good to do the thing that I love so much.
And i really want to have the best of it before i start college. I want to have as much as I can get but something else is pulling me back. I really wish 'it' isn't real, but 'it' is. I'm waiting for the moment for 'it' to just disappear without any trace. I might not have time to dance anymore when i start college..
Maybe college starting in July isn't a bad idea after all considering that I can dance longer.
But it really sucks to stay home and not do anything. I looked for jobs but none of it seem to be the right one. Maybe I have too many requirements.

If I work full time, I can't practice my piano, and i have to change time for piano class again.
And the whole reason for starting college in July is because of exam.
Piano teacher suggests that I work part time in a kindergarten.. Then I'll have time to practice.
The problem? I'm busy most weekends and have no one to accompany me to ask. Yes, I'm a very timid person and I know if I really want it I should just go and ask for myself. That's me.

Don't expect anyone to read my blog anyway. I just want to express.

SPM RESULTS?
I'm happy with it, still a little dissatisfaction but I'm not gonna whine over it, as long as I did my best and got the expected results for most of the subjects. As long as it's enough to enter college.
Signed up at Sunway U for Diploma in Nursing today. The interview went on better than i thought. I have never been so confident answering those kind of questions before. I know the Holy Spirit helped me. It's what God has called me to do and I know He will help me through it all. Thank you God for giving me this confidence in myself for the very first time.
LOVE YOU SO MUCH, LORD. =)

In this life there is always give and take. You sacrifice something to gain something else. Put something down and pick something else up. No such thing as gaining and never giving.

Nobody is perfect. But NOT everybody has bad intensions. You don't know how they really feel, you don't know what they are really going through, you don't really know what God is doing in them.
Whatever God is doing, it's good. He has plans to prosper you and not to harm you.
He loves you for who you really are. And the love He gives is not any kind of love humans can give.
Whether you believe it or not, whether you realize it or not, God is always there. Just like radio waves, you can't see it, you can't touch it, you can't hear it but it's there.
No matter what you mother teaches you, no matter what you think, the colour RED is RED and it will always be RED. That's the truth. The truth is the truth.
You know you have a brain eventhough you can't see it, hear it or touch it.
These words are not all mine, but THINK ABOUT IT.

I'm going through emotions right now and I don't know why.
Feeling a little empty. I need it to be real again. I need to feel again. I need that touch of the Holy Spirit, the joy of being in His presence once again. I really miss that.
I can't bear seeing people drifting away from God. Further and further away, what is happening?
I'm feeling just a little bit of what God feels, seeing His people turning away, going back to their old self. I can't imagine how sad He is, how much His heart hurts.
I'm sorry, Lord for forgetting you sometimes. I love you, Lord.

My blog is half dead right now.. Very lazy to blog nowadays eventhough I have all the time in the world! I was actually thinking,

WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I WANT PEOPLE TO SEE WHAT'S GOING ON IN MY LIFE??
WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?

Hmmmmmmmm?
XD

So okay... IT'S A NEW YEARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND a new decade.. And I can't believe I'm out of school. It's time to face half of the real world.
Many new things to come. BUT..........

i HAVE TO first make decisions!!!
Currently, there are loads of questions in my head.

Maybe I'm worrying too much.
Thinking too much.

I know God is the only ONE who can help me..
I need to listen.
I need to decide.
I need to grow.
I need to get out!


I don't know what to blog about anymore.

GOODBYE!

SPM IS TOMORROW!!

And i'm blogging at a time like this..
I am getting ready for BM and Sej, decided to take a short break..
It's been another long long time since i blogged.. So many things hav happened in the past few months since i last blogged...

Yesterday was the last day of school.. Had so much fun taking pictures. It's also kinda sad, I'm gonna miss SMK TAMAN BUKIT MALURI , gonna miss the people, being a high school student.
I'm happy that I got to perform for the very last time in school on the last week of school.. Gonna miss Pn. Joginder too, gonna miss recess with my bunch of crazy friends, and meeting each other everyday. =(

It's gonna be a new life next year! Can't wait to see what's in store for me in the future. But a little worried too, i don't know what to do after this. It seems so easy for others to choose what they want study. I'm gonna have to sit down and really be still before God, and LISTEN to His still, small voice that is supposedly very loud. Unfortunately, many fail to hear Him.. I want to hear Him!

GONNA MISS SEEING YOU GUYS EVERYDAY!
*where's Joee when u need her??*

All the best to all the SPM students! =)

TRIALS ARE OVER!
Now is holiday time! Got my driving license finally....

And there is nothing else i can think of to blog about..

Okay, here's some stuff we did in church camp at Kampar Grand Hotel



Pei Wei came in our car..




















The beautiful mountains















The cap I bought when i first reached Kampar town..
XD















camwhoring anywhere and everywhere

















Our room..















STOP using the phone or I'll shoot!















Part of the bunch of crazy youths there













Swimming session!















Having fun with the toilet mirror












thru the hole in the door

























MERDEKA!!



I shall blog about SHOES now!!
I found this brand of shoes that are amazingly cool! There's 2 brands that caught my eye!
Pastry and Southpole.. I really wish they are sold in Malaysia!
I'm going crazy over them! I know I shouldn't be.. But they're just too nice..
Almost wanted to buy it on9 but the shipping fee costs more than the shoe itself!



Pastry s















































Southpole












Anyone going to US for holidays anytime soon?!

This could be a hint for my Christmas or my next birthday present??
TAKE NOTE! XD

GOD BLESS!

The so called holidays!

It's the holidays!! But it's not really a holiday because of trials coming up next week!
When everyone else is celebrating MERDEKA, the form 5s are busy studying for trials..
How wonderful!
Really gotta study this whole week before going off to Kampar for Church Camp!

But here's what's been going on lately...

I got my L license and took a few lessons already.. The test is on 14th September!
Yes, it's in the middle of trials...

On the 11th aug, it was someone's birthday!

RACHEL ROSE CHONG!!!
woooooohh!

We celebrated with her on 14th. Went for dinner and did some "normal" stuff we always do..
haha and our "normal" is actually crazy, which is normal for us.. =p





Bunch of crazy peeps..

The Eye minus 1 again.... =(














Sesat-ers in DesaPark City

















tHE TRAFFIC LIGHT!










And the next day was Mei Zhi's 21st birthday party!






People who came early to play with balloons














de Myfers...






On her real birthday, we gave her a surprise at 6.30am in her room. We went in a started playing cards....... ^^
















Few days later, there was cheer family reunion at Desapark City.. It was the 3rd time in the same week I've been there.. XD



















That's all for now until churh camp..

This means, IT'S TIME TO STUDY!

The Lord is my strength and my song;
He has become my salvation.
Guve thanks to the Lord, for He is good;
His love endures forever!

HaRI Koko '09

Wooo.. The dance competition was great! We managed to get 3rd.. Still happy although we didn't win.. As long as everyone had FUN!

The videos are up on youtube already!



Congrats to the winners!

2 Corinthians 5:17 - If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation,
the old has gone, the new has come.

New creations are totally NEW!! Not REnewed.. We are different! We are SUPERNATURAL!
We are made like Christ.. I AM PART OF THE BODY OF CHRIST!

Christ was NEVER sick! Why worry about H1N1 n all those crap..
SICKNESSES AND DISEASES CANNOT TOUCH YOU!
YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN DIVINE HEALTH! Live DIVINELY!

ASK for anything in Jesus' Name and it WILL be GIVEN to you!
The Lord will do what He has promised..
iT TAKES FAITH.. not HOPE
*Hope is not Faith*
Faith is not LOGIC!
1. Faith is the opposite of FEAR
2. Faith does not ask "HOW?"
3. Faith is a WEAPON for spiritual warfare
4. Faith does NOT consider circumstances
5. Faith is NOW

GOD says it,
I believe it,
the matter is settled!

SATAN, touch not! You cannot God's people! I have the King OF the universe LIVING in me!

It has been a long time since i blogged..
The reasons are either I'm too lazy or that I hv nothing to blog about..

I still don't know what to blog about actually... haha

What i've been up to lately??
I'm currently waiting for driving lessons.. my L license is out!
seems like it's never gonna happen...
I can wait for piano exam results.. ^^

Oh yea, my dog gave birth to 9 puppies!
Unfortunately (or fortunately) 8 died... 1 blessed one left!
He's just sooo cute! People seeing it wont resist touching or grabbing it..
I even feel like squeezing it tightly everytime i see it!
BTW, it's called Marshmallow

ok, i seriously can't think of anything to blog about right now..
Trials are coming up in september... Gotta study!!!
Need a motivation to study!
Can't believe we're going to church camp right before the trials...

Events coming up this week! :
1. Healing & Deliverance Ministry from 30th july to 2nd august
It's gonna be amazing! Decide to have FAITH! God is awesome!
2. 6 day week of school... Saturday is hari koko n can't believe our school is having the first ever
dance competition! Though the name is kinda lame... Hip hop idol ==
We'll be doing new style. Wonder what others will do?? hmm.. Hope we're not the first to
perform!




He sent His word and healed them,
He rescued them fromt he grave.
Psalm 107:20

Hoping to pass!!

It's OVER!!! Finally, a load off my shoulders.....

The examiner was a LADY!!! Thank God she's friendly...
I can't believe a word popped out of my mouth in a British accent! hahhaha..
After saying it I felt weird... Luckily I didn't laugh out loud! It came out so naturally

About the exam...... It didn't go well =(
I got lost in the middle of the first song!! Stopped for awhile and continued..
That was what i was most worried of and it happened.... sigh
Anyway I'm relieved that it's over!! And celebrated with DANCE!!
Went to school for practice for a dance competition on hari koko and for someone's retirement..LOL WATCH OUT PPL!!

Now that piano exam is over......... Next up is..................... *drum roll*

6 HOURS COURSE TMR!!!
and then DRIVING.. woooh!
"My Vi" is waiting for me!!
You will be mine.. ^^ *hopefully*